This book is dangerous! "The Swamp" in The Acting Coach Approach: 48 Monologues for Kids . Its a little crooked. Is that why youre wearing those sheets? BEETLEJUICE Oh, theyre both gonna get it. Its either me or the booze. And shed be like Well, then I choosethe booze. The point is, we just got rid of your dad, and we were having SO much fun together! SEQUEL (air horn.) BEETLEJUICE: For a price. I'm on the bench, but coach. OTHO: Thats the one. having plummeted off the Winter River Bridge. CHARLES: Damnit! First published Apr 06, 2020. CHARLES: Except brains. Are you alright? CHARLES: Sweet Jesus, Delia we need a real exorcist! See? Those are the guest sheets! Cmon! I wish I was still alive, I WAS DRIVING LAMBORGHINIS SIPPING SUPER-DRY MARTINIS, AN UNHAPPY BEAUTY QUEEN WHO DREAMED TO BE MISS ARGENTINA, I WOULD'VE STUCK IT OUT KNOWING WHAT LIFE'S ABOUT, I WOULD HAVE LOOKED WITHIN AND LET LOVE IN SOMEHOW, SEE A SHRINK CALL A PRIEST ASK THE RECENTLY DECEASED, DEATH IS FINAL AND YOU CANNOT PRESS REWIND, SKYDIVER: DON'T JUMP WHEN THE LIGHT IS RED, TOASTER LADY: TOASTERS SHOULD BE USED FOR BREAD, FOOTBALL PLAYER: NIETZSCHE WAS RIGHT, Y'KNOW, TO LIVE IS TO SUFFER, BRO, I WOULD'VE LAUGHED AND DANCED AND LANCED EVERY SACRED COW, 'CAUSE LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS SUPER LONG, MISS ARGENTINA: IF I KNEW THEN (IF I KNEW), ALL: I WOULD'VE CROSSED EVERY LINE AND DRANK ALL THE WINE, I WOULD RIDE THE HIGHS AND CHERISH THE LOWS, GOING, IT'S A QUICK TRICK 'ROUND THE RODEO, MISS ARGENTINA: SO BEFORE THEY LOWER THE CURTAIN, BE CERTAIN TO ENJOY THE SHOW, ENSEMBLE: LIFE IS SHORT BUT DEATH IS LONG HERE, ONE MINUTE THEN IT'S GONE. ADAM: Yeah. I mean, real ghosts? I had a vision once. Scarecrow. ADAM: So, Lydia since you can see us, let me get right to the point. Im not comfortable withfeelingsyou know that. Welcome to our model home. DELIA: SUCKS-YES! In the video, Baldwin recalls the one thing that gave him hope about the film was the performance of his co-star, Michael Keaton, whom he describes as a "comedy Annie Oakley.". YOU CAN DIE TOGETHER! Beetlejuice:: *stops her* hey i get it you and me were not that different. Source: www.enca.com. But I (a beat.) Very good energy. Say Chuck, didnt you used to have a daughter? And yet, I worry. AND ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY MY NAME THREE TIMES. LYDIA: Wow, this is going to be such an interesting night! And such a bold departure from the original source material! Its-. BEETLEJUICES: ALL WE WANNA DO IS HEAR THAT SOUND. Now, we dont have a lot of time. Proceed directly to the Netherworld! BEETLEJUICE: OH! Scripture tells us, Sorrow not. *attempts to jump again. BEETLEJUICE: Its my middle name. Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wildest ghost this side of the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: We come for your daughter, Chuck! (they scream.) THE MAITLANDS: (creepily.) The fact is, shes been having a hard time since LYDIA: Oh father! Its the last day of their entire lives and this is what theyre talking about! Make My Millennium!". DELIA: AHHH! Otho : [while Lydia shows them the attic] Fabulous. Dead guy, what brings you to the roof? New neighbors?! BEETLEJUICE: There you go, kid. We mostly just watched and drank wine. Lets get you finished! Could I bring her back here? You asked me, I'm answering. These ghosts are gonna make us a fortune! And they eat ghosts. MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! If this house is haunted, then that means mom might still be back at our old house! BEETLEJUICE: We are gonna make such a great team! If I had known. So lets scare my dad! This is amazing! BEETLEJUICE: The people who bought your house! It was all rundown and we didnt know if we were going to get through it. This house is haunted! You are never gonna regret this! LYDIA: Okay. We have a dinner to plan, a house to redecorate-. Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. But someone must have said Beetlejuice's name three times, because . Couple of five-star reviews. You give mea bonerhere, its a femur. LYDIA: Hey Maybe we can help each other. Everything was the way it used to be. Fool your friends! ADAM: What other choice do we have? And you wont even say her name. Lets say we are dead thats bad, obviously, but hey, maybe! BEETLEJUICE: Quick! JUNO: YOU! CHARLES: Thats insane, shes not(BEETLEJUICE uses his powers to shut up CHARLES. BEETLEJUICE: WHY GOD-SLASH-SATAN, DID YOU SEND THESE BED WETTERS? God, youre a screw up! The whole "being dead" thing has never been so frightfully fun as in Beetlejuice, the Broadway musical based on the 1988 Tim Burton cult classic movie. Theyre made out of the devil! Oh father dear! All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. No. Broadway's "SCREAMINGLY GOOD FUN!" (Variety) musical comedy is now haunting houses all across the country!Based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film, BEETLEJUICE tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing for stripes. Lydia doesnt have my resilience. "PROLOGUE: INVISIBLE" ENSEMBLE: DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN' GO AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. ", YOUR DADDY SHOULD BE LEAVIN' AND YOU SHOULD STICK AROUND, SO, LYDIA, DON'T END YOURSELF DEFEND YOURSELF, GO AHEAD AND JUMP BUT THAT WON'T STOP HIM, I'M ON THE BENCH, BUT COACH JUST PUT ME IN THE GAME. After everything Ive done for her. BARBARA: Lydia, why did Beetlejuice give that to you? Also, no liquids! ADAM: You don't like this stuff? THE MAITLANDS: (ghostly.) Leave this house! BEETLEJUICE: YouareADORABLE (kisses Adam) HA! Wait, why aren't you dancing? About the future. The dead lead lives of noisy desperation in "Beetlejuice," the absolutely exhausting new musical that opened on Thursday at the Winter Garden Theater. And choosing the people you wanna share it with! christian laettner first wife; leaf home water solutions vs culligan; conventions in las vegas 2022. sona jobarteh husband; houston crime rate by race DELIA: Why thank you, future step-daughter. I dont know what I did. BEETLEJUICE: And I know that now. Beetlejuice is ruder, raunchier and frankly, more repellent than ever in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film. BARBARA Oh, honey. This is all very believable. Buddy, thanks for coming, but we are dealing with a haunted house here. Is this it? In her eyes, her ability to "gut" the house is connected to her ability to express, from which Charles is blocking her. BEETLEJUICE: Get in there Babs! DELIA/OTHO: Life is life. You old swaddler! . Seeking 2 Actor Team for Spring CHARLES: Do you hear that, Delia? Leave this house! BEETLEJUICE: Back off, Mom! Delia! Ive learned a lot. Those people just died, and you guys are clapping! ; Establishing Character Moment: Adam and the spider. ADAM: What is that? Except, this one year we tried to do a classic horror theme. TAKE YOUR PLACES I WANT SCARY FACES NOW GO! I call it The Soulbox. LYDIA: I have a mother! Well its a lot bigger on the inside! With a lovely family inside. Weve already said it a bunch of times! Theres very good energy in here. ADAM: You away from her! ADAM: Again, we do not want to kill anyone! MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: Your not invisible when you're me! About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . LYDIA: Yeah, you said Stop acting so weird, I need this job., DELIA: No! Thank you for being here. Your father was trying to hide you from us. TELL MY STORYYYYYY! Im sorry its kind of a mess. BEETLEJUICE (THE MAITLANDS): SCREW THEIR PHONES! This is the best day of my life! CHARLES: I see! This is gonna be great. But you wanted your mommy. (BEETLEJUICE does the same to ADAM. You are like ice! The man next to me is the one I want. LYDIA: I dont wanna forget about her. DELIA: Youre breaking up with me AND firing me? Alex Brightman and Sophia Anne Caruso in "Beetlejuice." Matthew Murphy. And life is the only way out! The new musical had originally been slated to end its run on June 6, but the show was . Why is Ohio so powerful?! LYDIA: I dont want your help. Well actually it was just this really hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the outside. Promise me we can talk about her. Beetle..(bj covers her mouth) BJ: She's a little nervous. It bridged the cultural gap between the cult movie and the studio movie, making a genre-movie quirkiness acceptable to the mainstream." New York Times film critic Glenn Kenny 3 it is my job to help transfer you out of the overwhelming emotional life, and into the blissful numbness and soothing solitude that awaits you in the infinite abyss of nothingness that is the Netherworld. BEETLEJUICE: Uh, wait what? Lady, you're forgetting something! All ganging up against the mean lady from hell! LYDIA: What's goin' on, Delia? DELIA: Otho, I noticed that the Soulbox is both glowing and making a noise. From comedy to drama and everything in between, we hope that you can find one that you love. DELIA: Lydia, you cannot just sneak up on people and take their essence. Puppet show!! The musical may still be called Beetlejuice; but, this time around, Lydia's the star. It is based on Tim Burton's 1988 film of the same name. Sorry, I dont mean to bore you guys, talking about my mom. BARBARA: Wait, what? MAXIE DEAN: CHUCK!!! Here goes nothing. 'Otho Fenlock's Locked Door Ghosts' Probably committed suicide up there. Barbara, put her there now put her here, OWWWWW! What if Lydia walks in? There are people downstairs. BARBARA: Thats so strange, Its not hot. Careful Charles! Its the perfect weapon to help you vanquish your ghost. Make them think that theyre in control! ADAM: Chapter one! You go to the Netherworld, you dont come back. Find some interesting quotes from when she felt alone here, they will make you think! And now this is what you get. Big beautiful brains. OKAY? Oldest trick in the book! Boo. No one is like me! AcCENT upon the Wrong SylLABle: When Adam finds the advert for Betelgeuse, he actually says the name three times, but because he pronounces it "Bay-til Guy-ce", the incantation doesn't work. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, thank you very much. DELIA: Life coaching! Ooh, ooh, somebody's at the door; alright, Let's make some more people scream! Lets spin the wheel. So, I have an idea. DELIA: Wait, Charles, are you breaking up with me? I sense your touch. Sign up today to unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. You died together. BEETLEJUICE: NO! ADAM: I have an idea! Alone. One of the reasons Beetlejuice's Lydia is an icon is her style. We were told living people ignore the strange and unusual. Take care of them. BARBARA: We're ghosts, damn it! OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH. I am a very sexual being, and I do love me an orgy, but I say this with love, but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. Dont you wanna get these people out of your house? ADAM: (as if hes possessed.) I don't even like pottery! It has to stop. All you gotta do is say my name! Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. ALL GUY, GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY GUY, GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY GUY, GUY, BEETLEJUICE: AHHHHHHH!! LYDIA: What? Now, Im gonna go find a room to bless. BEETLEJUICE AND ENSEMBLE: THE WHOLE "BEING DEAD" THING! BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah right! BARBARA: Adam, I dont think we survived that fall. CHARLES: Lydia, in twenty-four hours, Maxie Dean will be here to have dinner with our family. See that tiny little house up there? BEETLEJUICE: Whaaaat? ), ON THE WHOLE BEING DEAD THING (AH AH AH AH). (a beat.) BEETLEJUICE: I wanted to help you guys, its literally all I wanted, but the two of you are helpless. BARBARA: I think so! CHARLES: Good! CHARLES: Lydia, I have asked Delia to marry me. LYDIA: Mom?! Lift with your back! CHARLES: -Not good for Lydia. It didn't work. ONE DAY YOU MAY WAKE UP ALONE, DELIA: 'CAUSE YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS BOYFRIEND BOUGHT A BOAT AND THEN THEY SAILED AWAY TO ROME, DELIA: SO YOU CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP IN DEEP DESPAIR, TALKIN' TO THE WALLS 'CAUSE THERE'S NO ONE THERE, 'CAUSE THAT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE TO HAVE A FAMILY, THAT YOUR AGING ASS WILL HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT , A LITTLE "I AM STILL YOUNG!!!" THE THREE OF US ALONE CAN WRECK DAD'S EVENING, YEAH, I GOT GAME! The script was . BEETLEJUICE: YES ADAM! Dont, DONT text me in the middle of the night saying U up? because guess what? I know that my name's on the marquee, but youre going to have to watch a new show. BEETLEJUICE: Wow! Do you want some lunch? Im bringing my mom back, and none of you can stop me! Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall. ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY, ME SAY DAY-O! And now, finally theyre about to die! MAXIE DEAN: Oh, dont mind her. I don't know what just happened. BEETLEJUICE: Please dont make me beg. I'M GONNA MAKE HIM SAY MY NAME, I'LL MAKE HIM SAY MY NAME (MAKE HIM SAY YOUR NAME). These are the biggest changes that . Beetlejuice tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager obsessed with the whole "being dead thing." Lucky for Lydia, her new house is haunted by a recently deceased couple and Beetlejuice, a delightful demon with a real zest for life. Its a classic Victorian with the original crown molding. Because of her, I got to live, briefly, very briefly, and can I just say something? OTHO: Let me say it (dramatically) DEATH! What if shes possessed? WE'RE MORE THAN DETRITUS WE'RE FINALLY ALIVE! A toast to my father and his all important business! Because I dont think we can. Now lets hurry up and leave this god forsaken house. I changed a lot. Barbara! Beetlejuice truly hits me in a special part of my heart. "Beetlejuice made 'weird' look cool. The full DC BJ script Cmon. She goes back into the room. LYDIA: Dad! I havent always been such a good mother. **Beetlejuice: The Musical has ended its Broadway run, but is currently touring nationally. ADAM: Well that wasnt very nice. LYDIA: Hey Beetlejuice! I got all the way to Howards store, and then Howard tells me their out of stock. I want you, Beetlejuice. Tagged: Rhymes, Juice, Loose. You dont like your dad, and I dont like my mom! BEETLEJUICE: Your mom? So, goodbye. Where are you going? BEETLEJUICE: Pepperoni, mushrooms and snakes! she utters this indignant monologue. Did I mention that my moms a demon? (more chase.) LYDIA: Then Ill find a way to do it myself. Club members can see a different show every night of the week! (a beat.) I'm so glad you changed your mind. Girl, just say it three times in a row. BARBARA: SURE, THE GROOM CRAWLED OUT OF A TOMB, BARBARA/DELIA: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, I WANNA SEE A TEAR IN EVERY EYE AS I PASS BY, I KNOW THAT ON THE OUTSIDE HE'S DISGUSTING, BUT I KNOW THAT THIS TIME, I'M MAKIN' IT RIGHT, ALL: HERE COMES THE BRIDE HERE COMES THE BRIDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE SOME CULTURES THINK THIS KIND OF THING'S ALRIGHT, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY MY CREEPY OLD GUY. It's not about that. Sorry! You know, my guru Otho says Depression is like an ugly sweater. Smash. No you cant do that! OH! Theyre chasing me! This is exciting! I'm totally enchanted. Now you remember what my guru Otho says! Hes here! (DELIA screams.) That means its working! Ill do it. ADAM: Oh, dont worry, Im gonna have this crib ready before that baby gets here! howd you get her to marry you? LYDIA: You know what? Beebleboose! Yes book? Antics ensue. 3."My whole life is a dark room. Adam, youre boring. /Say my name/. God, why cant he just leave me alone? But first, I gotta toss the rule book. CHARLES: I am very good at sex. (Charles and Delia try a Hi-five) Oh, so close! Its finally time for you two to go to the Netherworld! Im so scared Im going to forget her. Now we both got Dead Moms! GOOD OLD FASHIONED WEDDING WITH SOME DANCING AND UN-DEADING. Its the one room in the house thats still ours! The musical premiered at the National Theatre, Washington, D.C. in October 2018, prior to opening on Broadway at the Winter Garden Theatre on April 25, 2019. You both get em. (to audience.) And then, spring the trap. ADAM: Oh! COMPANY: GOD, I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A SHOW ABOUT DEATH! All Ive gotta do is get a living person to say my name three times. This is so wrong, your my employee, but also my lover! And you won't believe how far I'll go. Its gonna be so good for all of us. BEETLEJUICE: Well, yeah, because youre not recently deceased. But what if it doesnt last? As your guru Otho always said, this is taking too long! ADAM: Well this just says Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Guy talk howd you do it? Thats the rule. [speaks in Lydia's voice] Beetlejuice: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. Research Playwrights, Librettists, Composers and Lyricists, See more characters from Does this dress say Mindfulness?. The Maitlands and Beetlejuice, Lydia thinks, can bring her to the netherworld to see her mother once more. C'MON, DROP YOUR PANTIES I'M TRYING TO FILL YA, WITH WISDOM AND SKILL AND THE INSTINCT TO KILL. Sophia Anne Caruso, the talented young star of "Beetlejuice," surprised a lot of the musical . Love is love. We will. BEETLEJUICE: I KNOW THAT BEGGARS CAN'T BE CHOOSERS, THE MAITLANDS, CHOIR: BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE. CHARLES: You made it big. So much poise! LYDIA: Greetings, ghosts. I know, theres still so much I wanted to do. BARBARA: Excuse me, this is all happening very fast, we just died and now youre here, and now theyre here and-. Beetlejuice DC Script - Free download as PDF File (.pdf), Text File (.txt) or read online for free. The doubts his . It couldve been bad! BEETLEJUICE: Hi there, ahahaha! I want you to get Beetlejuice out of the picture!". WHY DO YOU POLISH YOUR CRIB WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A KID? 24m. So, what do you say? Where is that damned exorcist? She was my whole world. Betelgeuse , Beetlejuice. The man next to me I study death, I think like death, I spent a long holiday weekend in a Red Roof Inn with death! DELIA: Dont worry Otho, well put you in the Soulbox! Upgrade to PRO You see Charles, as a life coach, I have but one enemy. Ive never felt this before. Tagged: Whorehouse, Anxious. A ballad already? ), BARBARA: MAITLANDS 2.0! AHHH! But we just have to hold onto each other and live through it. I thought she was talking about us. DELIA: AH! You see, the living ignore the dead. Uh, hey! BARBARA: And Lydia, she cant live like this! Beetlejuice will play its first show on Friday, April 8, 2022, it was announced Monday. Youll have to open the door to find out. CHARLES: What? Join the StageAgent community See you in hell, AGH, Im gone Im gonna use the door. Theres a Toblerone, a bath bomb, a book youre never going to read. Put er there! Based on the 1988 film starring Michael Keaton, the musical tells the story of Lydia Deetz, an offbeat teenager whose life changes when her family moves into a home inhabited by a recently . we have to go home! And I'm just Hamlet going insane. I have a chance to see her again, please! Mmmmmm, yes! JUNO: You are the embarrassment. Now normally, I would use a plumbline for this, but Im not too shabby with a freehand. LYDIA: Im alone. ADAM: Im confused, you can see us without the sheets. (ADAM kisses BEETEJUICE. what Im trying to say is; I hired you to help my daughter, but you have ended up helping me. BEETLEJUICE: NO, WHAT FILLS YOU WITH RAGE? Its about love! Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wild "ghost with the most" from the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. Right now, just outside the walls of this house, nestled in the hatch back of my Toyota Prius, is a mysterious object of my own design. "Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.". I didnt like strangers when I was alive. CHARLES:Yes, but we have to move forward! Everyone here would go back if they could! Oh, speaking of luggage, have you met my fourth wife? DELIA: Dont you worry Charles, if we make it look fabulous, no one will ever know its actually crushingly insecure and older than it says it is. He is so mean to me! LYDIA: Does it say anything about summonings or seances? BEETLEJUICE: Babs, I get it, I totally get it, but the two of you are special. Maybe I should answer for her. Unless I am paid upfront in cash, and learned that the hard way. BEETLEJUICE: DID I SAY NETHERWORLD? Dont you get it? (a beat.) Fine, you wanna be together? More about Lydia . ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! OUR TROUBLES ALL ENDED ON THE DAY THAT WE BEFRIENDED HIM. Ooohh? Shes definitely done some stuff, I can tell. But somehow, someway, you gotta make 'em see ya. Adam, we need a door. Delia! Beetlejuice! Eddie Perfect, Lydia is a dark, yet exceedingly smart young woman. ADAM: Lydia, we're so sorry! Lets get that book open. ADAM: Barbara! But hey. DELIA: Charles, that was the most spiritually nourishing rogering you have ever given me. To be her what do you call yourself again? And their eyes! MISS ARGENTINA: Oh, but you have to go back now. Except for you, Dead Mom. ADAM: Well, hey I do not see any cops around here! A few nights before she- before the end, Emily took my hand and said, I know you wanna fix it. Beetlejuice - Musical. 2) Starbuck 3) John 8: 12: "I am the light of the world. To the dead. EVEN, LIKE, A TAX ATTORNEY WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER, SOMEBODY WITH GRAVITAS SOMEBODY TO FEAR WHO, ADAM: Excuse me, Mr. Beetlejuice we can kind of hear you. But Lydia, you cant live like this! LYDIA: I dont know how! BARBARA: I know. Don't apologize! Please, dont spin the wheel! And I never got the chance to use them while I was alive. Its like a green card thing! CHARLES: Lydia, Im not going to answer a question like that. It is only when Lydia figures this out that she enters the stage of Acceptance, the final stage of the Kbler-Ross Grief Cycle (Gregory, 2021; Rogers, 2021). Youre leaving me? CHARLES: Lydia! Do not be afraid. LOOK! Demon's Dance. Please, forgive me! ILL NEVER COME THIS WAY AGAIN! Yes, I love that man of mine. JUNO: Anyone whose ever died is in there. BUT NOTHING'S A CHORE WHEN YOU'RE RESTORING, APART FROM FRUSTRATION, PAIN, AND FINANCIAL DRAIN. They become caught up in the supernatural elements and try to get Lydia to realize what she really needs the most. BEETLEJUICE: DON'T BE SO VANILLA WOULD A LITTLE ANGER KILL YA? BEETLEJUICE: Nothing, so your dad wants to suck me into this fancy box. I asked you to send me a sign. But when he turns it on, what if your mom shows up instead? Based on Tim Burton's 1988 wonderfully demented film, Beetlejuice The Musical follows Lydia Deetz - a strange and unusual teenager whose life takes an unexpected turn when she meets the former owners of her house - who just happen to be dead - and a degenerate demon from the Netherworld. We cant hide this anymore. DELIA: What are you talking about? BEETLEJUICE: Sorry, kid. AGHHHH, ADAM: HOLD ON ONE DAMN MINUTE! DELIA Business friends: I have only known this amazing, amazing man and his unique daughter for a few months I don't even know how many, I'd have to check my pay stubs! but, as my guru Otho always says. I guess Ill just go. And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff. L: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. Oh you dont have a handbook? LYDIA: It's like I told you, Dad: This house is haunted and the ghosts who live here want you out! CHARLES: A BEAUTIFUL BUNCH OF RIPE BANANA, ALL: LIFT SIX FOOT, SEVEN FOOT, EIGHT FOOT BUNCH, CHARLES: Maxie! BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah? But you can. I mean, not this, I dont think anyone could have predicted this. Once Im dead, my dad will be sorry! MAXINE: And hell do it! DELIA: I dont see race. And I think Ill take a chance on life! LYDIA: Classic Bait and Switch, Oldest trick in the book! ADAM: Oh yeah? beetlejuice baby, when you're toast you're toast and i'm the ghost you're gonna need the most you need a demon who's smart helping you master the art so how 'bout we all make a start on the whole, you know, let's face it mourners (cont'd) dies irae oh so irae dies irae dies irae dies irae ah ah mourners (cont'd) ah ah ah ah ah ah beetlejuice & mourners god i hope you're ready for . BEETLEJUICE Finished? Hope I didnt scare you (screams) ARITHMIA 1234. ), THEY'LL NEVER GET THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES. Ive already been to hell and back. We do not have time to make screaming, passionate, love right now. Beetlejuice: please don't make me beg *kneels* fine im begging okay i'm so sick and tired of being. I took a very big risk with this place. Charles! All you gotta do is say my name. CHARLES: Delia, there is nothing in your head. ADAM: I know! LYDIA: Shade Maternal, Fate Infernal, I summon thee with Saturns breath. ), BEETLEJUICE: HEY ITS GREAT THAT YOU ATE UP MY PLAN, NOW THE POOCH HAS BEEN SCREWED AND THE SHIT HIT THE FAN, BEETLEJUICE: YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG BOOK. Maybe the most haunting thing about "Beetlejuice," the new musical version of the 1988 Tim Burton movie that is having its world premiere at the National Theatre, is the creepy feeling of . Everyone can see me now, but if I were alive, I could get out of the house, meet my kind of people. Thats why Ive been trying so hard to build a new one. ITS ALMOST A GIVEN THAT I WILL ALL SOON BE ALIVE. You are dead. BEETLEJUICE: THAT IS THE SOUND, OF CLEAN, WHITE, SHORTS TURNING BROWN, LYDIA: THE SOUND OF A SCREAM, IS MUSIC TO ME, A SOUND THAT SAYS FIFTEEN YEARS FULL-TIME THERAPY, BEETLEJUICE: TRAUMA AND FEAR, IT SINGS IN MY EAR, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: AIN'T IT THE SWEETEST NOISE AROUND, THAT BEAUTIFUL SOUND. Just put me in . Im crying because Im so happy. JUNO: Report to processing! Its like against the law at my house. Complimentary and Deeply Discounted Shows. You said you would help us! This was an excuse to make the boys interact and realize they all are wife simps. CHARLES: Lydia, this is a good thing. There's lots of cool stuff in there! LYDIA: I just want something to remember you bye, when youre gone. We are father, daughter, and Delia. SO WE MIGHT AS WELL WALK THROUGH SOME WALLS, 'CAUSE ADAM, WE'RE READY AS WE'LL EVER GET, I GOTTA GET RIGHT OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. CHARLES: Im glad you like it. Mom? MISS ARGENTINA: But thats impossible, you youre a living girl. Just put me in the game. close. BARBARA: We are not aluminum siding people! He was already dead. And he gave me this. LYDIA: I dont know. Adorable! BEETLEJUICE: Adam (dramatic pause.) Thats a neat trick. MAXINE: See? Whatd you do!? You know what would make all this even more awesome? MISS ARGENTINA: DID YOU EVEN READ THE HANDBOOK? Eh, it was worth a shot. New meat! 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